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Pretending to be asleep doesn’t work

Heres one that scared the living shit out of me when I was younger.

A young boy is sleeping in his bed on a usual night. He hears footsteps outside his door, and peeks out of his eyes to see what is happening. His door swings open quietly to reveal a murderer carrying the corpses of his parents. After silently propping them up on a chair, he writes something on the wall in the blood of the dead bodies. He then hides under the childs bed.

The child is scared beyond belief. He can’t read the writing on the wall and he knows the man is under his bed. Like any child, he pretends that he slept through the whole thing and hasn’t awoken yet. He lays still as the bodies, quietly hearing the breathes from under his bed.

An hour passes, and his eyes are adjusting more and more to the darkness. He tries to make out the words, but it’s a struggle. He gasps when he finally makes out the sentence.

“I know you’re awake”. He feels something shift underneath his bed.

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The Treasure Planet

As a young boy, Jim is entranced by stories about Captain Flint, a legendary pirate who has the ability to appear from nowhere, raid passing ships and then disappear just as easily to stash his haul on Treasure Planet.

As a teenager, Jim often gets into trouble with the police because of his rebellious ways and solar surfing where he shouldn’t be! His mother, Sarah, tires of his behaviour and endlessly tries to keep him on track by making him help out in the family inn.

One night a spaceship crashes out back, and Jim goes to investigate. The dying pilot, Billy Bones, hands him a mysterious sphere and tells him to “beware the cyborg” before taking his final breath. A gang of pirates then raid the inn, and Jim, Sarah, and their friend Doctor Doppler just about make it out alive. They discover that the orb is actually a map which holographically projects the way to Treasure Planet.

Excited to have this in their hands, the Doctor commissions a ship to explore the stars – the RLS Legacy, commanded by Captain Amelia, her first mate, Mr. Arrow and with a motley crew lead by John Silver. Doppler persuades Sarah that it would be a good idea if Jim came along too. Jim doesn’t trust Silver, and thinks he may be the cyborg that Bones told him of. This doesn’t stop him forming an almost father/son relationship with Silver, who then saves Jim from falling into a black hole created by a supernova.

Eventually the spaceship reaches Treasure Planet, only to be taken over by the mutinous crew – the good guys escape, leaving the map behind on the ship. Whilst exploring the planet they meet B.E.N, an abandoned robot who helps Jim retrieve the map from the ship. In the meantime, John Silver thinks Jim has the map and goes after him…captures Jim’s friends, forcing him to open the map…

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Wrong Email Address…O-oh

 

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

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What is the Earth worth?

Earth is the only planet that we know of that has the means of sustaining human life. In that respect, it’s pretty priceless. But what if we look at the matter more objectively? If the raw materials of Earth were all given a value and added up, how much would it be worth?

Even if we were able to attach a monetary value for our planet, what would that mean? How would we even sell it? Who, out in the Universe, would even be interested in purchasing it? Has Earth already been sold?